ex's

I’m very angry at the moment. Frustrated and humiliated. I have let myself be led up the wrong path and left and now I’m lost and confused.

We said goodbye a long time ago. And only now it’s started to bother me. I try but I can’t seem to get myself to think of anything but you… and when you’re with someone else it makes me so outraged and I can’t understand why. What a conundrum!?
He will miss me a lot when I go and live on the other side of the world without him, which gives me some comfort. I don’t like feeling out of control in these matters. It must be better to leave than to be left? The truth: he doesn’t have the mental capacity to keep me happy, nor does he have the strength of character to contend with me. Let alone the stability. He's tactless. This is a shame. It used to be heart warming. Perhaps the greener grass on the other side (cockney hairdresser called “Sam” …eugh!) will suit him better. Is that bitter? I can be so bitter sometimes… when I use my bitter 'curse' lines like “I hope you’re really happy together” and “Hope it works out for you two” … too evil. I’m only being insecure but I’ve got to brush that dirt off my shoulder and hold my head up high

This afternoon I was told…

“Ok. During the evening we met you went through a ream of emotions - excitement, joy, surprise, boredom but still you kept true”

Amusing huh? Keep in mind this comes from an almost stranger who is a fantastically complex victim of the world… a strange phantom that somehow fits in superbly. I truly don't know what to make of it.
I’m feeling slightly better than I did when I started writing this. I’m impressed by my restraint… I could have said some naughty sexist things earlier, like “all men are selfish gits” but I maintained my composure except for the bitterness and insults to his intelligence. Could I be more petty and childish??