My New Year celebrations were disappointing but that is now normality, judging by my current emotional standards. Truth is, it was a disaster. When the clock struck 12 I was in the bathroom. After that it just got more and more surreal and unpleasant. I’ll spare you the rotten details. Me and those dreaming eyes of mine leave me stuck in the gutter. Too good to be true, indeed!
I can’t even get a hot shower these days. I don’t feel quite right. I can’t even communicate properly. I’m stuck and still so bored. Since you’ve been gone.
I didn’t sleep well last night. My dreams were full of junkies and tension and hostility with people I love and a feeling of pointlessness. I'm a rose, but people think that I'm just a flower.
Love me, or leave me but I don’t want to be by myself. Tell me something beautiful. Be beautiful. People are ugly. I’m so bored. Give me sensations and butterflies. Make my fingertips tingle and my heart pound. Make me laugh until it hurts. Let’s do things we want to do, without thinking about the consequences. Put me first. Be my greatest inspiration. Help me to become unstuck... that's all
to avoid fainting keep repeating
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
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